The Modern Eye Exam

Eye exams have changed since I last had one.

About four months ago, my glasses broke. My three year old son may have been involved in that process, but I won't publicly implicate him here.

It was tricky at first, but I got used to living without them. I got used to not recognizing people until it was too late to think of their name, so I began saying "Hey", instead of "Hey Bob".

It's hard to see PowerPoint slides from the back row of the classroom where I normally sit. So I had to move to the front row with the overachievers.

Driving home at night was also an adventure. On winding roads I'd just follow someone else and hope they didn't do anything stupid.

It's been a busy summer, so I haven't had a chance to get an eye exam. I breezed through Costco on a lunch break two or three months ago to see what kind of frames they had. Nothing screamed my name.

We've been on two vacations, and I've driven the entire way. Sometimes things on the side of the road are a bit blurry--like the police motorcycle that was clocking me on radar two months ago. He gave me a warning on the speed, and I assume he assumed I was wearing contacts. You know what happens when you assume.

As long as I don't need to read street signs, I'm perfectly fine driving. This, of course, annoys my dear wife to no end:

Me: Quick, what's that sign say?
Anne: (looks up from book) Which one?
Me: That one! Quick! We need 295 to the Delaware Memorial Bridge!
Anne: Uhh.. You need the right lane. And new glasses!

So this week I finally went in.

My last eye exam was 8 years ago in Salt Lake, though my glasses were from my mission 10 years ago. I was pleased to find out that my prescription was EXACTLY the same! Woo hoo!

The exam machine was new to me. I'm used to the contraption that resembles the coin-op sightseeing binoculars. But this machine did all the work for me, and spit out a printout with my prescription on it. I looked at a picture of a farmhosue that went in and out of focus, and somehow that machine could "read" my eyes. That's just wicked cool. (some Googling has revealed it might be called Wavefront technology)

And after that I even got to look through the coin-op binoculars for old times sake.