Yo VIP, let's kick it!

This morning as I was pulling into the parking garage at work, I was rapid-firing through my station presets before I lost signal coverage.

I'm pretty fast when I go through the stations. Anne is convinced I can't possibly know what song is playing by listening to half a second of it. I can tell. This morning, just prior to entering Static City, I stopped on a song I hadn't heard in ages.

Vanilla Ice's "Ice, Ice Baby". I haven't heard that song since, let's see, 8 weeks after the album debuted and radio stations stopped playing it.

The 30 seconds or so that I heard today brought back some memories.

Picture it: Fall 1990. Junior year of high school. Someone asked me to help out with the homecoming float (probably a girl, otherwise I can't see why I would have participated). The theme of the year was "Fry the Falcons", the Falcons being the team that we would play at the big game.

So we met to discuss float ideas. They ("we") came up with a big pot, with a bald bird head bobbing up and down in the pot with fake smoke and what have you. At a subsequent float building meeting, it was determined that we would paint "Boil the Falcons" on the side of the pot.

At this point, I chimed in and said, "Uh, isn't the theme Fry the Falcons? Shouldn't we do a frying pan instead? And, you know, paint Fry the Falcons on the side of it?"

I'm sure the young lady who invited me regretted her lack of foresight. Needless to say, we constructed a pot and painted "boil" on the side of it.

How does this tie in to "Ice Ice Baby", you ask?

Because no homecoming float is complete without loud music! (I learned.) They got the DJ kid to load his equipment onto the float, and as it made it's way around the track at the big game, they blared "Ice Ice Baby" while the bald bird head bobbed up and down in a boiling pot of inter-school rivalry and disdain.

The seniors had a pretty good float. If I recall, it was a frying pan.

Quick to the point to the point no fakin'
I'm cooking MC's like a pound of bacon!

So that's what came back to me this morning as Vanilla Ice faded into the static in the parking terrace at work.

Oh, later that year I dated a senior. At some point in our relationship, the homecoming float inevitably came up.

Her: "What were you guys thinking? Boil the Falcons? The theme was Fry the Falcons. We got a good laugh out of that. Idiot juniors."

Me: "Yeah, but the music was bumpin'."

If there was a problem yo I'll solve it!
Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it.

Your Help, Please

WANTED: Someone to come to my office and discuss appropriate in-office dining options with my coworkers.

For example, if someone could politely explain to my coworker that cracking open a can of tuna fish at 8:30 in the morning, dumping the fish juice down the drain of the sink, and leaving the empty can in the trash can ALL DAY is not acceptable, I would be most appreciative.

Yesterday it was leftover fish for lunch. Today, tuna for breakfast. What will it be tomorrow? Clams for an afternoon snack?

My one saving grace: the Ionic Breeze Air Purifier, which has been working some serious overtime. Whoever left that in the storage closet, you deserve a medal.

P.S. If you eat tuna fish for breakfast, please help me understand your... culinary tastes.

Just when you thought it was all good...

Life was going just as planned.

Yep, life was coming in for a smooth landing on a nice sunny day. Then, today, an unexpected crosswind blew the plane off its approach onto the grassy median. Sure, no one was injured. The landing gear collapsed, a couple of people got some bruises and suffered from smoke inhalation and will probably file suit, but everyone survived. The airplane has seen better days, but it's probably fixable given enough time.

One thing's for sure: the pilot won't be playing golf this afternoon.

That's how today feels.